It gets waaaaaay worse.

Update 3:51 PM: Wait a minute, now Kyle Kinane is saying he was the one being pranked? I have no idea what to believe anymore. This might make this whole thing even more amazing. Read below to try and figure this out.

Posted 2:15 PM: One would think that by now every corporation would have a sign hanging in their employee break room stating "Do Not Get Into Flame Wars With Comedians On Twitter." Apparently, they never got around to hanging theirs over at the Pace salsa company, because yesterday a couple of their employees got into a dramatic and confusing public altercation with stand-up comedian Kyle Kinane. There's no sensible way to describe the carnage except to lead you through it.

All of the drama started innocently enough, when an over-eager computer program automatically favorited a 10-month-old disparaging tweet from Kinane, simply because it contained the phrase "Pace Picante."

Oddly enough, not all references to Pace Picante are going to be positive. But this computer program was too busy being a dumb computer program to grasp that. Which was unfortunate for Pace...

...because then this started happening.

Don't do it, Pace computer program! Don't do it!

Ugh. You did it. But there must be some kind of a contingency built into it to stop it from endorsing other brands of salsa, right?


And it didn't stop there.

Somebody needs to throw in the towel! That poor computer program is just getting pummeled! Luckily, Pace woke up and dispatched a human being to tweet the following:

Well, that's a relief. And that sould be that. It was fun while it lasted, but Pace seems to have averted a full-scale public relations disaster. Just so long as an even more clueless human being doesn't do something stupid like ask Kinane to delete all his tweets or something.


Okay, good. Maybe they'll just send him some free salsa, and this will all be over.

Pace should maybe reconsider their legal representation. Isn't there anybody else over there at Pace who can smooth things over?

Oh, so, now Miles is taking over for Eric?

And now Eric is taking over for Miles who was taking over for Eric. This is getting confusing. Is there anyway that this can be made any more convoluted?

Winnie from The Wonder Years. Well, played Mr. Kinane.

Anyway, all's well that end's well. Kyle Kinane seemed content to wrap things up on a positive note. And Pace even made a little money out of the playful back and forth. It appears as though a number of of Kinane's (or Pace's?) fans sent the comedian some jars of the picante sauce we've all come to love. 

Just so long as a human being doesn't step back to fuck it all up once again.

Who's Sharon? There's a Sharon now? What happened to Miles?

So, now Eric's back? Or is it "Erik"? What the hell is going on over at the Pace offices?

This is literally the weirdest salsa-related Twitter brouhaha we've seen in weeks! 

If your Pace salsa has a little extra Miles or Eric zing to it, you know what's what.

Looks like somebody turned the computer program back on. Might as well. It was doing better than the people.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?! This is insanity! It's like a 19th Century tragic melodrama being acted out on Pace's Twitter account.

That poor Miles! All he wanted to do was execute terrible public relations decisions on an incredibly public forum. Did he deserve to be fired for it?

Yes, let's bring back Miles so he can get back to managing the Pace Twitter. He clearly has a knack for that sort of work, as is clearly evidenced by this excerpt from Pace's currently-suspended account: 


Pace Picante (@Pace_Foods) December 2, 2013

See what I mean? Flawless decision-making skills. Apparently, Pace's Sharon, Eric and Erik didn't agree, because he lost his tweeting privileges. So, Miles being Miles, he took to his personal Twitter account to vent.

Or was that really Miles?

Pace ended up taking down their Twitter account for a while, which was probably the first smart move anyone over there made all day. Turns out there was a fourth mystery person involved, someone who apparently hated Miles and was trying to get him fired. Which explains a little bit. But not really all that much.

And that appears to be the end. For now. But Miles is still out there somewhere. Waiting... Biding his time...

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Sources: Kyle Kinane | h/t Huffington Post