Sure. "Looked like."

Please read this breakup letter on Thought Catalog, written by some guy who left his wife and kids for a "millennial." Not only is it embarrassing six ways to Sunday, but it's got a fun twist.

"To The Millennial I Left My Wife For (And 8 Parting Words Of Advice)" is a breakup letter, but it's not written to the woman who bore the author's children and raised them with him until he decided he wanted to fuck his intern. We can assume he posted that letter on Babble or iVillage. This breakup letter is addressed to the millennial he left her for, with whom it's apparently already splitsville. The letter summarizes their scandalous relationship, everything that brought them together and broke them apart, and ultimately concludes with some worldly advice for the millennial home-wrecker—gleaned from his "30-something" years of living ridiculously—as they go their separate ways. Except here's the fun part: she dumped his ass.

So many things to enjoy in this, not the least of which in the above passage, where he presents her issues as the kind typical of a young woman starting her way in life, while reducing his issues to "I left my wife and started banging you."

He traces their year together from the early days of "breakfast conversation over The New York Times" to her calling him bipolar and running around on him to spend time with exes (hopefully her own age).

"I couldn’t be a cheater, and you couldn’t be a mistress," he writes, no doubt proud of himself and his noble decision to leave his wife. 

"Even though you often acted years beyond your age, I kept lying to myself, refusing to believe you were young and naive." Whomever this millennial was—let's call her "Millie"—Millie the millennial had to have tossed her laptop at the wall when she read that little bit of passive-aggression.

The triumph really comes at the end though, in the "8 Parting Words Of Advice." I don't want to spoil it too much, but here's just one of my favorites.

This might very well be entirely fictional, and if so, bravo! A post like this elevates trolling to the level of performance art. Present yourself as utterly loathesome by announcing in paragraph one that you left your wife and kids for an intern. Undermine any sentiment you may actually be trying to express by throwing "millennial" in the title, cheapening the entire endeavor with a clickbait-y buzzword. Broadcast your unmitigated arrogance by offering parting words of advice to someone who already decided she was done with your prematurely midlife crisis-having ass. Then throw the whole thing on Thought Catalog to guarantee it can't be taken seriously by a soul.

The author posted anonymously—to avoid having a thousand bricks thrown through the window of whatever apartment he's crashing in this week—so we may never know who crafted this. Instead, we can only marvel at it.

(by Bob Powers)

Sources: Thought Catalog