Let everyone know you're just as insufferable at home as you are at work.
Great way to let the creepiest guy in the office know he's the creepiest guy in the office.
A good education is the first step towards an excruciatingly mundane career.
"Daddy is working very hard to write a funny tweet because daddy needs validation."
Really go for it, though—rub some dirt on them before work and ask them to pretend to be deaf.
Also, sorry you're not childless.
They probably sing like crap, too.
"Show me how your put your head up your ass like Mommy always says!"
You can spend your day doing the same!
Something slightly less annoying than children >>