Water killed my family! Oh wait, that was pizza.

Let's just call a spade a spade: this is a fat guy who's into swords and knives. We're all familiar with exactly that type of person. Except for one thing: the more you watch this kid, the more awesome his weird blade fetish becomes. By the end, you are rooting for him to chop down every last container of water on this planet. The only thing this is missing is him being rushed from all sides by bottles of water with terrible aim. Sure, we could focus on the mystery of how a swordsman of such focus and dedication can't be bothered to slice himself a smaller portion of KFC every night, but let us instead focus on his victory: the one over calorie-free water.

Sources: YouTubers billyk and goosmurf