Warning on office copier confirms all your paranoid delusions.
And never let your Internet browser know you feel more than lust.
We are modern people, free of ancient superstition. We don't believe that spirits live in the trees or that angry ancestors will cause a rockslide to obliterate our village. We are smart enough to know that those spirits live in our smartphones and scanners. We know now, thanks to science, that because we decided to sleep in a little today and blame it on traffic, the Internet will go out right when we're researching a report. We know that yelling at the printer will cause our phone to withhold crucial texts for hours with no explanation. At least it's better than living in a world where all these machines are just atoms indifferent to our existence.