"Sorry, feller. I know you were lookin' forward to snortin' rails off the back of our commode in there, but I'm afraid the only addiction we allow 'round these parts is needlepoint. Now if this was 1987, well, hell, I'd be right in there with ye, rubbin' coke on m'gums and doin' bumps off the wife's nipples. But sir, the Reagan years are long gone, I'm afraid, and we'd thank ye kindly to respect our wishes."

Sources: Brad O'Farrell