Couldn't this Chinese billionaire have crammed just a few more things onto his business card?
I heard he also owns all of the air south of Beijing.
(via Business Week)
Chinese millionaire Chen Guangbiao arrived in America with a dream and a business card. The dream—to purchase the New York Times for $1 billion—was kind of ridiculous. And the business card was even more so. But in that very special kind of way that makes the Internet love you. Because, really, how can you not love "Most Charismatic Philanthropist of China"? Especially when he's also "China's Foremost Environmental Preservation Demolition Expert." If only he were a "China Earthquake Rescue Hero." Oh wait! Never mind. He's that, too! My eyes must have skipped right past that designation on their way down to "Most Well-Known And Beloved Chinese Role Model."
Sadly, Chen's New York Times offer was declined. But that's okay, because he's also totally willing to buy the Wall Street Journal if that's available. Or even CNN—he's not picky. Look, with a business card like this, he's bound to buy up some media empire eventually. According to the South China Morning Post, Chen says he's "very good at working with Jews," so, you know, take that for what it's worth.
By the way, you can become an Internet sensation in your own right with Slate's Chen Guangbiao Business-Card Generator. Here's mine:
Now, let's talk about me buying Mad Magazine. (Failing that, I would consider the Washington Post.)
(by Dennis DiClaudio)