Sir, that's physically impossible.

The victims of these painful pranks have learned three valuable lessons: apply your own sunscreen, don't pass out on the beach, and find new friends. Laugh at them all you want, but let their crimson marks of shame serve as a solemn reminder that you're only three pina coladas and one giggling douchebag away from waking up to your own dermatological nightmare. 

 


It's a portrait of how he looked before he found out this was on his back.

 


You should see the upper back they drew on his penis.

 


His Kryptonite is an open-handed slap on the shoulder.

 


"What do you mean I need to go to the hospital? Look how happy he is?" 

 


Thanks for the info, but the fact that you were passed out in a sombrero with vomit on your beach towel kind of gave it away.

 


Sadly, this would actually look appropriate on our physique.

 


"You like the tan? I have my wife apply my sunscreen."
 

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