Sir, that's physically impossible.
The victims of these painful pranks have learned three valuable lessons: apply your own sunscreen, don't pass out on the beach, and find new friends. Laugh at them all you want, but let their crimson marks of shame serve as a solemn reminder that you're only three pina coladas and one giggling douchebag away from waking up to your own dermatological nightmare.
It's a portrait of how he looked before he found out this was on his back.
You should see the upper back they drew on his penis.
His Kryptonite is an open-handed slap on the shoulder.
"What do you mean I need to go to the hospital? Look how happy he is?"
Thanks for the info, but the fact that you were passed out in a sombrero with vomit on your beach towel kind of gave it away.
Sadly, this would actually look appropriate on our physique.
"You like the tan? I have my wife apply my sunscreen."