No joke, the thing lawyers are most irritated about here is his bad grammar and punctuation.
When people ask, "what is the world coming to?" you should answer with this. This is to what it is coming. This is Brian Zulberti, and he just passed the Delaware bar exam, one of the nation's most difficult. Naturally, like any newly-minted lawyer, he went job-hunting, sending out thousands of emails with the same (fairly unexceptional) letter with a bizarrely unprofessional photo of him flashing his guns (below)—the best part of which is his warning against forwarding people his muscle photo, because odds are that person had already gotten it from him:
"Please do not forward this email. Forward people my Facebook page, it's way funnier."
(screenshot via Above The Law)
So, what's up with the Facebook photo, you ask? Well, as you may have noticed, Brian didn't include too much info in his letter, knowing full well that all employers Google their job applicants these days. Naturally, Brian promptly waxed his pubes and took a mirror shot wearing nothing but girl-briefs with lines that draw the eye to uncomfortable places, in front of a sign asking for a job, complete with terrible grammar and a bizarre and frankly lame prostitute joke. "Well, that's pretty dumb, you might say, but at least he did it on purpose." True, but he also left the dozens of other bare-chested, nay, glistening-chested selfies in there, as well as this charming leg shot:
I would like to see the translation of what Gunshow said, please. Nice gams, btw.
This is his current profile picture, although as of press time the bar certificate part has either been removed, or it was never there and we were tricked by other websites:
Yes, cue James Bond theme. "Esquire. James Bond Esquire, junior clerk at your service."
It remains to be seen whether this kind of balls-out (ok, everything-but-balls-out) self-promotion will land Brian a good job, but we did find two redeeming things about his Facebook page. First, he has this cat (and possibly a dog as well):
OK, Brian. If you wanted a really "2013" resume, THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN YOUR PICTURE!
Yes, Starbucks. Where everyone is a raging nerd. I guess? Good luck, Brian. Really.
(by Johnny McNulty)