We're disturbed by how turned on we are right now.
If you hate that you have to stop masturbating every time you cook dinner, try Fifty Shades of Chicken, the cookbook parody of Fifty Shades Of Grey. It's full of delcious recipes you can rub one out to. Now every meal will taste like a young woman giving over to the sexual command of an older wealthy man. The tastiest and sexiest cookbook since Lady Chatterley's Lasagna*.
*doesn't exist, stop Googling it.