Welcome to Scotland, where people greet you with a smile, even if they just killed a guy.

This is easily the greatest tale involving axes, murder and Scottish people since 1993's So I Married An Axe Murderer. Dan Thompson and Gary Kerr both live in Edinburgh, Scotland, where they work in Thompson's garage shop, the Tomson Motor Company. The garage is located on an adorable little side lane called Giles St.

Leaving aside the fact that Mr. Thompson apparently thought "Thompson" was too hard for Scots to spell, these two used their know-how and can-do attitudes to quickly stage a brutal murder when they recognized the Google Maps car coming down the road by its distinctive huge f-ing tower on top.

Here's the view as the Google Car first starts getting close enough to see them.

"This opportunity wasn't coming around very often, so Gary grabbed a pick axe handle and we ran out into the street," Thompson told the Edinburgh News. "We decided really quickly what to do and I lay down while Gary stood over me with a pick axe handle. I wish we'd [had] a little more time, because we would have went out mob-handed and really staged an elaborate tableau for the camera."

I don't know what mob-handed means, but it's probably Scottish slang for either "well-prepared" or "carrying a shite-load of clubs and knives." Hard to tell with the Scots.

A little bit closer now. This one is the real "action shot," I think. Good pose. I give it a B+.

They apparently did a good enough job, because one potential customer (that they will probably never get now) was looking for an auto garage on Google Maps when he saw the non-elaborate tableau and thought he had witnessed a grisly murder. He called the police, who showed up to find the murder victim happily working at his garage, the perpetrator (Kerr) standing a few feet away. Thompson claims to be embarrassed by the whole affair, but the cops were amused. They had a good laugh and declared the case closed. 

The smudges on the camera add an interesting layer of disturbing mystery.

Now, I'm not saying the Edinburgh police are a bunch of morons (plus, we'd never have had this story if they didn't check it out), but they would probably not have had to investigate this if they'd had the foresight to move the street view further down the street and look back. 

Maybe he's just doing one last pushup so he can look good for the ladies in the afterlife?

Good job, Edinburgh PD. I see why Scotland Yard is named for the famed detective skills of those northern Celts.

No, no, he could still be dead. Sometimes the body doesn't realize for a while.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: Google Street View