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  • Oprah's bitter ex-stepmom gives exclusive report on Oprah's private life.

    posted 1 hour ago

    Scandalous. (via Getty Images)

    Finally, there is definitive almost evidence that Oprah and Gayle have a weird relationship. Oprah's ex-stepmother, Barbara Winfrey, decided to reveal her private knowledge of the Oprah-Gayle-Steadman love triangle in an exclusive interview in The Daily Mail after Oprah forced her out of her shared home with father Vernon Winfrey. According to Barbara, she never saw Oprah and Steadmen kiss or even hold hands in the 14 years that she was part of their family, but when talking about Oprah with Gayle she said, "If it's not more than friendship they're giving every appearance that it is."  

    [ Via Daily Mail ]
  • Teens are Burt's Beezin: The newest application for chapstick.

    posted 2 hours ago

    Dude, I'm so Beez'd right now.

    Teens have found a new part of their bodies to wax -- their eyelids. A Fox 25 report warns of teens smearing Burt's Bees chapstick on their eyelids to heighten the effects of getting drunk and high. Of course, it doesn't take a doctor to know that the lip balm provides no actual intoxicating effect, but they talked to a doctor about it anyway.  

    According to Dr. Brett Cauthe the kids are just getting a tingling sensation from the peppermint oil in the wax. Dr. Cauthe does warn that the oil could cause redness and inflamation of the eyes, perfect for the teen who wants to rock the wrecked look but still get into Oberlin.  

    The real question is, when will the news start bringing in the medical experts on more pressing and pervasive teen issues, like snorting pixie sticks and rubbing gold bond on their junk?

    (by Myka Fox)

  • A guy flipped out and got naked on top of his Tesla in the middle of a highway.

    posted 2 hours ago

    California Man, wearing nothing but a smile. (via)

    California has a long, proud history of being at the forefront of progressive achievements, from solar energy to legal weed. Now one Golden State resident has shown that you can flip out, get naked and throw a trippy tantrum while stopped on a busy highway without burning fossil fuels. According to witnesses, the guy stopped his red Tesla on the Pacific Coast Highway around 3 p.m. on Tuesday and took all his clothes off, then taunted authorities for about a half-hour before the cops were able to talk him down and take him to the hospital, where it's likely drug tests weren't even necessary. They probably just gave him some Valium and a set of bongos.

    [ Via LAist ]
  • The worst kid in the world just broke up with his girlfriend on Instagram.

    posted 3 hours ago

    Frankly, it'd be even worse if he wasn't breaking up, just removing her from photos.
    (via mogaaaaarrrr on Instagram)

    Ah, young love. Who can forget their first crush, their first date, or the first time they were brutally and publicly humiliated by an unthinking and uncaring significant other who wants to play the field so badly that they forget to tell you first? Not instagram user syd_ross, that's for sure, who will never be able to look at the hashtag #TransformationTuesday the same way again after cjkarl11 proved he was the dumbest teenager on there (an impressive feat). The hashtag is usually used for people who are getting in shape or giving themselves a makeover—in other words, people making a major improvement in their lives. Ouch.

    Both of their accounts have since been set to private or deleted, but this screencap was saved by Instagram user mogaaaaarrrr for posterity.

    On the plus side, it looks like he's making room for that blue-haired dude in the background of the second picture, whom I'm sure was devastated about being cropped out the first time.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • Leaked 'Game of Thrones' script reveals controversial rape scene was meant to be far more nuanced.

    posted 3 hours ago

    Internet debate raged after Sunday's episode of Game of Thrones, "Breaker Of Chains," featured twins Jaime and Cersei Lannister in an intense sex scene that some defend as consensual, while others assert that what's depicted is unambiguously rape.

    Though the controversy has prompted statements from the episode's director, writers, actors, and even George R. R. Martin, none have yet noted that the original draft of the scene was, in fact, much more complicated and nuanced than the version that made it to air.  HappyPlace has the exclusive leaked draft, and what was cut may shock you:

  • Student who's clearly coasting until graduation handed in this answer sheet in class.

    posted 4 hours ago

    I wish it were graded just so he could get a 'D.' 
    (via redditor jds13x)

    This photo is from Lambert High School in Suwanee, GA, and fortunately the teacher thought it was funny. The answer sheet was apparently filled out by reddit user BlasianBam, although it was posted by his friend, user jds13x (stealing that sweet, sweet karma for himself).

    The teacher in the photo is apparently announcing that BlasianBam was about to be called to the office (while still holding up his handiwork for everyone to laugh at). He's still a very popular teacher, though: former students on reddit immediately identified him as science teacher Jimmy Hollingsworth. (Although an equal number of commenters identified him as a certain motivational speaker who warns you about living in a van down by the river.)

    Although jds13x originally thought this was a final (which makes sense, since Hollingsworth allows you to not count one test grade towards your semester average), it turns out it was a mandatory survey for "instructional focus"—but you're still taking a pretty big risk handing in a bubbled-in penis in high school, since many schools have gone off the deep end discipline-wise in recent years.

    Hopefully as Senior Spring progresses, more students will allow us a glimpse into their end-of-education slacking off.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • 100 brand new emojis sure to be sweeping the Internet any minute now.

    posted 5 hours ago

    Been waiting too long for the means to express when I feel this way. (Via)

    There just aren't enough emojis to properly represent the human emotional landscape yet, and we can't rely on Congress to get off their butts and remedy the problem. Thankfully, some people are taking matters into their own hands. These 100 brand new, much needed emojis were created by Avery Monsen, a comedian, illustrator, and co-author of All My Friends Are Dead (you might know him best as the frustrated contestant on 30 Rock's fake game show "Homonym").

  • University threatens to withhold degrees from students who take selfies or walk funny during graduation.

    posted 5 hours ago

    You're an adult now, so DO WHAT YOUR TEACHERS TELL YOU! 
    (via HLN)

    The University of South Florida wants students to maintain a certain amount of decorum during graduation. Specifically, the amount of decorum you need to do nothing except hurry up, take your diploma, and make sure you gave the student loan office your new address before you leave. But if you take a selfie or "stroll" during the ceremony, they're going to play finders-keepers with the incredibly expensive diploma that declares you marginably employable in the world's eyes. Or if you march and/or step. I'm not sure what kind of walking that leaves...maybe a quick zombie shuffle? They want to protect the dignity of President Genshaft, pictured here:

  • The most hilariously inappropriate notes ever written by kids.

    posted 7 hours ago

    You'll get your diamond earrings when you start flossing, kid. (via)

    Kids are shockingly disgusting, perverse, and inappropriate. They're also our future. So we should probably pay attention to the weird messages they're passing to each other during class, because someday they'll be teachers, cops, and senators still passing poorly spelled notes with overtly sexual content. Here are some of the best kids' notes we've ever seen, and by best we mean they'll make you question ever having children.

  • Stone Cold Steve Austin went on a spectacular rant in support of gay marriage.

    posted yesterday

    Stone Cold can be soft and warm. (Getty)

    Last year on his podcast, WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin went on a fiery, NSFW rant in support of gay marriage that's equal parts intense and humorous. Maybe the most interesting thing about it, though, is that one of the biggest, baddest wrestlers in the pretend wrestling game loudly gave his support to same-sex marriage and it went largely unnoticed for several months. Which makes sense, in that it shouldn’t be a big deal, and probably wouldn't be if he also didn't take a folding chair to the skull of gay marriage opponents who claim to have God is on their side:


    [ Via UPROXX ]