- posted 1 hour ago
These drawings should be hanging on the walls of a terrible Hollywood steakhouse.
Fans have created god-awful, untalented-child-like portraits of their celebrity icons for as long as we've had celebrities, but thanks to the Internet, we can find treasure troves of them all over the Internet. As hilarious as it is to see how different these renditions are from their subjects, but until now we had not wondered how horrifying it would be if the drawings were accurate.
Thanks to Twitter funny-person JamieDMJ, we now know. Apparently, fans live in a parallel universe with much more meritocratic society where talented actors succeed despite their horrible disfigurements.
I've photoshopped what some celebrities would look like based on their worst fan art. pic.twitter.com/cYdczcLrDB— Jamie J (@JamieDMJ) March 10, 2014
I bet those fans think you did a terrible job capturing their work's likeness.
JamieDMJ is best known posting a fake rejection letter from Webuyanycar.com turning down his red and yellow Fischer Price Little Tike plastic foot-powered toy car, to which Webuyanycar.com responded by creating webuyanytoycar.com and donating the proceeds to charity.
Hopefully the trend continues. Start photoshopping, people.
(by Johnny McNulty)
- posted 2 hours ago
That be some long spelling. You said it.
It would have been a lot shorter had our nation's early morning cable anchors been in competition.
This was around 5 AM so staffers were only half-awake, and chyrons end up having typos just like anyplace else. But when your typo misspells "Spelling Bee," that's really unfortunate.
(by Bob Powers)[ Via h/t BuzzFeed ]
- posted 2 hours ago
Surprised he kept his shirt on before being put in.
Fernando Sosa enjoys making 3-D figurines of political figures to satirize them on his site, Political Sculptor. For example, he has a little model of Chris Christie wearing an orange reflective vest and directing traffic which got some press in the New York area. However, that can't hold a candle to the sh*tstorm his butt plug caused on reddit and the rest of the Internet. I'll let Sosa explain his thinking on this masterpiece:
This guy really puts a lot of effort into his models. He must be pretty anal about details. (via)
Yeah, I wanted to make sure to include that bit about the sandstone before you rushed out to immediately order this, because sandstone would probably feel as good as an actual Vladimir Putin in your butthole, and is only useful to demonstrate what's happening in Crimea right now. But if you pre-order now, Sosa will be able to afford sex toy-grade latex to make legit butt plugs for legit butt use.
This is why democracy will always win, people. Freedom.
(by Johnny McNulty)
- posted 4 hours ago
That's his "In ten seconds I made more money than your whole family" face.
Justin Bieber is being sued by a photographer who claims to have been threatened with a gun by one of Bieber's bodyguards, but that's not important right now. What's important are the below clips from Justin's four-plus hour deposition, handily broken down by TMZ into Arrogant Bieber, Lovesick Bieber, Contentious Bieber, and Disrespectful Bieber.[ Via TMZ ]
- posted 9 hours ago
Good behavior causes bad heartbreak. (Via)
Witnessing these nasty breakups in person would be incredibly uncomfortable. But when you can watch from a safe, projectile-free distance on Facebook, it's like seeing a building implode. A building with two very annoying people inside. On the other hand, maybe all of these couples could've stayed together longer if they communicated by any means other than social media.[ Via Lamebook, CollegeHumor, LOLSnaps, Reddit, 9GAG, Claire R., Lamebook, Reddit, Reddit, Lamebook, Lamebook, Lamebook, CollegeHumor, Unfriendable, Lamebook, Failbook, Lamebook, FB Humor, Lamebook ]
- posted yesterday
A clever forgery. Possibly the work of "The Mole" out of Reykjavik.
If you're not an experienced forensic document examiner, you probably don't posses the skills to see through this clever 5-year-old girl's near-flawless forgery of her mother's signature. You shouldn't feel bad though; it takes years and years of careful study to acquire an expert's eye. Let me walk you though this, though, so you can see where she tripped up.
First of all, notice that the "Y" is slanted to the left yet not dangling beneath the line. Most mommies will opt for one or the other. Also, see how the "O" isn't fully closed? Usually, a mommy will take more care when signing a school form. The big giveaway, though: Mommies tend not to think of "MOMMY" as their official name, regardless of what they're called around the house.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)[ Via redditor Lisa831 ]
One of the most exciting Oscar moments in history was nothing compared to what was going on behind the scenes.posted 03/08/2014
Comparatively speaking, Cuba Gooding Jr. was downright calm.
Since the the Oscars telecast has a reputation to uphold as the dullest and longest night on TV, it's hard to forget those rare moments of excitement and spontaneity, like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acceptance speech for Best Supporting actor in Jerry Maguire in 1997.
As exciting as that was, it was nothing compared to what was going on behind the scenes in the TV truck, where the show was being directed. The clip below, pulled from the documentary Inside The Oscars, proves that even at the slowest moments of the Oscars, there's probably a guy snapping his fingers and screaming like a madman to make sure you get to see the just right camera angle of George Foreman giving a standing O.
(by Bob Powers)[ Via H/T Reddit ]
- posted 03/07/2014
Butch Otter—the latest in a long line of US Governors making bad film choices. (via KBOI2)
The fact that a guy named Butch Otter (I hardly even know 'er) was in a porn film is not very surprising. The fact that the Governor of Idaho was in one, however, is almost as shocking as the fact that the Governor of Idaho is named Butch Otter. Why did he think this was a good idea? Well, he didn't. He agreed to appear a long time ago (when he was merely the Lieutenant Governor, see) in a movie called "A Time To Revenge," which was low-budget but nonetheless fairly legit. After all, it starred Paul Gleason (the principal from Breakfast Club) and Elizabeth Berkley (Saved by the Bell, Showgirls), and you know anything Elizabeth Berkley is in will be a monument to taste.
The movie centered around a feud between rancher families, and Otter played a corrupt sherriff who says some ridiculous things like "I was elected to keep the peace around here, and by God, that's what I'm going to do," and "the Major called me this morning and told me you stole his cattle truck last night with some of these cattle in it." He also helps end a bar fight by nodding to a young woman in the bar and telling one of the guys "pretty little thing waiting for you over there." As the NY Daily News puts it, though, "that's as sexy as Otter gets." In case you think the tale of a rancher feud in Idaho is boring, here's a gif of someone blowing up a horse trailer with a rocket launcher:
- posted 03/07/2014
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought your car was running low on adorable." (via BBC News TV)
Meet Betty Boop, a three-month old Jack Russell puppy from Salford, UK. She, like many Jack Russells, has a nose for adventure and a complete disregard for her own safety. What a scamp! Ms. Boop is always trying to get out and explore the world, which is why her owners, Tracy Gibbons and Gary Rose, have to make extra sure to keep their doors and front gate closed at all times (although she's so tiny, she tries to squeeze under the gate, anyway).
One fateful morning, however, Betty snuck out while the gate was momentarily left open and decided to climb up into the engine of a neighbor's car. Fortunately, she's so small that she was able to hunker down on the gearbox without being caught by any moving parts. That neighbor drove for 12 miles, at speeds up to 50mph, before hearing a dog barking and not being able to figure out where it was coming from. When he got out and popped the hood, Betty was just waiting there like, "what? are we there yet?"
Check out a pretty adorable video report of the story over at BBC News.
(by Johnny McNulty)[ Via BBC News TV ]
- posted 03/07/2014
Maybe she's-a just-a talking with her-a hands like-a an Italian. (via)
I'll give Miley this much: she's still capable of surprising me with how badly she wants to surprise people (not that it doesn't work—23,307 people had retweeted this at the time of writing). Miley's determination to shed her Disney skin like some sort of horny snake has recently culminated in this tweet of her holding a very convincingly-made 5-finger dildo. Now, to be fair to Miley, she's on a tour, which is kind of like a road trip that pays well, and buying funny sex toys you see along the way is a classic road trip activity. That being said, it's Miley, and we already know she's got a thing for using large artificial hands on her crotch. In this case, the "Hand of Adonis" from Doc Johnson. I will not describe it, because its specifications can do it for me:
Extra large is not a special feature. It seems like the primary and only real feature.
Still, her Emojis left no doubt that she was giving a thumbs up to the Hand's effectiveness for fisting and fingering. She was even clearer about it in this tweet:
It's like a back scratcher, but for those REALLY hard-to-reach places.
I can't believe I find myself asking this, but what is Miley going to do next? According to many people, including perhaps Korn and Eminem, the government uses Miley as a tool to distract us from more nefarious activities. I guess we'll have to wait for another international crisis like Ukraine to see her next wacky stunt.
(by Johnny McNulty)