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  • Oprah's bitter ex-stepmom gives exclusive report on Oprah's private life.

    posted yesterday

    Scandalous. (via Getty Images)

    Finally, there is definitive almost evidence that Oprah and Gayle have a weird relationship. Oprah's ex-stepmother, Barbara Winfrey, decided to reveal her private knowledge of the Oprah-Gayle-Steadman love triangle in an exclusive interview in The Daily Mail after Oprah forced her out of her shared home with father Vernon Winfrey. According to Barbara, she never saw Oprah and Steadmen kiss or even hold hands in the 14 years that she was part of their family, but when talking about Oprah with Gayle she said, "If it's not more than friendship they're giving every appearance that it is."  

    [ Via Daily Mail ]
  • A girl was kicked out of her senior prom for wearing pants.

    posted yesterday

    Imagine if Footloose was about pants.

    Shafer Rupard was able to enjoy her senior prom in Cherryville, North Carolina for all of five minutes before getting the boot because of the outfit she was wearing. At first she thought it was the baseball cap or leather jacket, which she offered to take off, but a teacher informed her the problem was her red jeans. 

    When she got home, her mother, Shawn McQuaige, checked the invitation and the student handbook, neither of which had a rule saying you couldn't go to the prom dressed like Justin Bieber at the 2011 VMA's.

  • Man on trial for murder is concerned about his giant neck tattoo of the word "MURDER."

    posted 04/23/2014

    Could be worse. He could have gone with "GUILTY."

    It's hard for a jury to remain impartial, harder still when the guy on trial has the crime he's being tried for written all over his neck.

    At some point in time, Jeffrey Chapman decided to have the word "MURDER" tattooed backwards across his neck. Not a big deal, we all like to be reminded of our favorite things every time we look in a mirror. But in a wacky coincidence, Chapman is about to be put on trial for the 2011 murder of Damon Galliart, whose body was found by hunters in a ditch in Great Bend, KS. What are the odds?

    According to the New York Daily News, Chapman's lawyer filed a motion to have the tattoo removed or blacked out before the trial, claiming the jury might have trouble remaining impartial if they see that the defendent loves murder so much that he wanted it to be the thing that connects his head to his body. Prosecutors are fine with Chapman covering up the tattoo, but they don't want to transport Chapman to a licensed tattoo artist to have the tattoo inked over.

    The only alternative left is to pick a jury full of people who also have the word "MURDER" tattooed on their necks. It is still a jury of one's peers, correct?

    Couldn't Chapman have just worn his crime on a novelty tee shirt, like the guy in this mugshot who got busted for DUI?

    (by Bob Powers)

  • A guy proposed to his girlfriend during "Doctor Who" photo op pics at ComicCon and it was the nerdiest, most wonderful thing ever.

    posted yesterday

    The cutest nerds of all time and space. (via

    So you think you're a big Doctor Who fan? I'm guessing you have nothing on this couple, who got engaged at the Louisville Comic Con a few weeks ago. The dude waited until he and his girlfriend were standing in between Matt Smith and Karen Gillan before popping the big question. 

    Actually, that might not even be his girlfriend. It might just be the girl behind him in line for photos, who was so moved by the sight of Amy and the Doctor standing side-by-side that she would have accepted a proposal from a dalek.

  • 13 ridiculous dating tips for ladies from the year 1938.

    posted 04/21/2014

    Likewise, drinking may make some boys seem sullen, but most just get angry. (VIa)

    Based on this digitally preserved dating guide, apparently from the year 1938, women looking for love pre-Pearl Harbor were drunk lushes who were prone to getting dressed in front of their date, crying at the table, and grabbing at the rear view mirror to put on makeup even while "Man" is driving.

  • A guy was in the hospital for lung surgery. His dad had a lot of fun with the whiteboard outside his hospital room.

    posted 04/23/2014

    Thank you, Dad, for the healing power of laughter and mortification in front of these nurses.
    (via redditor Dawsonmadness)

    According to redditor Dawsonmadness, his or her brother was in the hospital for lung surgery and their dad decided to play with their whiteboard. I'm sure he did this in the hopes that one of the doctors would ask him about big butts and he'd be all like "what?" and everyone else would be like "gotcha!" and he'd be like "I'm having lung surgery, maybe raucous laughter isn't the medicine I need right now."

    It's still pretty sweet though. Maybe he'll get lucky and a doctor will read his son's blood pressure as 36 over 24 over 36, which is great, but only if you're 5'3".

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • Teens are Burt's Beezin: The newest application for chapstick.

    posted yesterday

    Dude, I'm so Beez'd right now.

    Teens have found a new part of their bodies to wax -- their eyelids. A Fox 25 report warns of teens smearing Burt's Bees chapstick on their eyelids to heighten the effects of getting drunk and high. Of course, it doesn't take a doctor to know that the lip balm provides no actual intoxicating effect, but they talked to a doctor about it anyway.  

    According to Dr. Brett Cauthe the kids are just getting a tingling sensation from the peppermint oil in the wax. Dr. Cauthe does warn that the oil could cause redness and inflamation of the eyes, perfect for the teen who wants to rock the wrecked look but still get into Oberlin.  

    The real question is, when will the news start bringing in the medical experts on more pressing and pervasive teen issues, like snorting pixie sticks and rubbing gold bond on their junk?

    (by Myka Fox)

  • An annoying high schooler tried to correct her teacher's grammar on a sign. The teacher got the last laugh.

    posted 04/18/2014

    Your my hero mr teacher guy show her whose boss.

    You're my hero, Mr. Teacher Guy. Show her(?) who's the boss. (via reddit)

    Grammar is important. People who are bad at grammar are a thorn in the side of those of us who aren't, jabbing our eyeballs with painful darts of stupidity. 

    On the other hand, self-righteous grammar nazis who don't know the difference between someone being playful and someone who is so dumb that they write in text-message language because they think it's acceptable are way worse, like 4 realz. Now, I do think that the teenager writing the sign (by the handwriting, I'm going with a girl) thought that she was being funny, but the way the sign ends reeks of a kid who thinks she's really gotten the better of someone.

    According to redditor TheItalianChamp, who posted this photo, the teacher in question does actually teach English. In general, if the person making use of homophonic wordplay is your English teacher, even if you're the kind of person who can never let anything slide, leave it alone. They did it on purpose, and they will not only grade your sign harshly, they'll still be responsible for grading your papers in the future, and will probably not be so lenient about taking off points for a missing comma in the future.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • More of the greatest inappropriate test answers from young children.

    posted 12/28/2012

    Maybe these kids will look back on this and laugh once they're old enough to realize what the hell they were saying. Some of them seem brutally honest, while others just appear to have a tenuous grasp of the English language. Obviously, the latter half are our future politicians.

  • 45 Easter Bunnies more terrifying than a crucified man coming back from the dead.

    posted 03/31/2013

    The child is one of us now. (Via)

    As hard as shopping malls try to make "going to see the Easter Bunny" a thing, it's never quite caught on like visiting Santa Claus. Maybe that's because Christmas is a magical celebration of materialistic greed and gluttony while the closest thing to "fun" about Easter is showing off your new pair of church slacks — or maybe it's because every Easter Bunny costume is a walking nightmare of soul-scarring horror. Here are some examples of why the image of a bleeding, emaciated guy on a cross rising from the grave is somehow not the most traumatizing thing about this holiday.