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  • 22 heartbroken people who had to cover up a tattoo of an ex after a breakup.

    posted yesterday

    This is the modern day version of "It's better to have loved and lost..."

    Love is forever, except when it's not. When the tears fade and the deep emotional wounds start to heal, you may find yourself with an unfortunately permanent reminder of the person you thought you'd want a permanent reminder of. If that happens, consider covering up your romantic tattoo with a much less romantic skull face. Or curse word. Or really, anything, because the most hideous tattoo in the world is better than having the name of someone you now hate emblazoned on your chest. We promised we wouldn't say, "We told you so," so we'll just say, "You're stupid and you got what you deserve."

  • Woman gets back at online dating creeps by drawing them with tiny penises and posting to Instagram.

    posted yesterday

    Surest sign of a long penis is its owner's need to announce that fact to the world. 
    (via Instagram)

    When 23-year-old Anna Gensler, an artist, joined Tinder six months ago, she was hoping to meet guys. Instead, she was matched with a whole bunch of creeps. Their opening texts ranged in message and tone from "I have a long penis" to "Bet your [sic] tight." Gensler was—like most women on dating sites—put off by the dudes, who seemed to think these disgusting overtures would actually work. 

    (Images after the jump slightly NSFW for poorly drawn hint of penis.)

  • If Game of Thrones took place entirely on Facebook - Season 4, Episode 3.

    posted yesterday

  • That man who let the Internet name his baby daughter had a baby.

    posted yesterday

    (file photo from our massive file of tiny baby feet)

    Remember Stephen McLaughlin, that guy who decided to let the Internet name his baby daughter? He set up a website——and did a (casual) reddit IAmA that generated even more name suggestions. Most of the submissions were actually surprisingly reasonable, if a bit nerdy. 

  • 13 ridiculous dating tips for ladies from the year 1938.

    posted 04/21/2014

    Likewise, drinking may make some boys seem sullen, but most just get angry. (VIa)

    Based on this digitally preserved dating guide, apparently from the year 1938, women looking for love pre-Pearl Harbor were drunk lushes who were prone to getting dressed in front of their date, crying at the table, and grabbing at the rear view mirror to put on makeup even while "Man" is driving.

  • 85-year-old hiker creates the best personal ad ever posted to a tree.

    posted yesterday

    Comfort-zone backup is like a wingman who can also play defense. 
    (via redditor dearclarissa)

    Mt. Baden-Powell is a very popular hiking destination in California's San Gabriel mountains (named for the founder of the Boy Scouts, hence the "near Boy Scout monument" meeting spot). Even with popular hiking spots, though, you should always make sure to have a hiking buddy so someone can run back to town to tell everyone you were eaten by bears. That's the message that Don Viejo got from his children who were concerned for his safety on solo hikes, according to this sign spotted by a redditor's friend.

    But if Don Viejo was going to be forced to accept a hiking partner, it would be one to his liking. There's surprisingly little that's creepy about this poster (the height and weight part was a little bit odd...and the fresh breeze bit)—it mostly just sounds like a guy who, since he's being forced to get a hiking partner, would like to spend his time with a young(er) woman if possible. 

    His "interview time" is High Noon. His name is Don Viejo. He will buy you lunch. He can rhyme! I'm not a woman over 40, but if none show up for him (very unlikely), I'd consider hanging out with him on the trails. Also, my trail name would be Sir Izzat Edible, and I need a buddy who can carry me back after I make a wrong guess about eating bitter roots.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • Ellen Page wielded her power and fame last night to arbitrarily rename people's dogs.

    posted yesterday

    I have a feeling "Carrots" would have preferred being named "Steak." (via @EllenPage)

    Ellen Page is pretty widely adored for being a fun and, by all accounts, nice indie icon, and this has given her a lot of power. While this power sometimes manifests itself in the usual celebrity forms—like helping to make the world more accepting by just being who she is—it is also a power she can wield capriciously for her own amusement (and everyone else's). Specifically, she has the power to rename your dog and make you feel honored in the process (no word yet on how the dogs feel). It all started last night on Twitter:

  • This Chicago burger joint made no pretense about why they were closed for 4/20.

    posted 04/21/2014

    He is resin.

    Kuma's Corner is a restaurant that serves huge, dripping, mind-bendingly delicious burgers in the Avondale neighborhood of Chicago. When you walk into the establishment and sit down to eat, you are treated to aural cacophony of loud, thrashing heavy metal music. Their burgers have names like the Black Sabbath, the Iron Maiden, the Lair of the Minotaur and (my personal favorite) the Plague Bringer. They somehow managed to snag a location at 666 W. Diversey Parkway for their sister restaurant and made certain to proudly feature its address number.

    So, when given the choice between acknowledging Easter or National Weed Day when they remained closed yesterday, it's maybe not a huge surprise which one the restuarant owners chose. Though, I feel like they could have made an equally compelling case for honoring Ēostre, the pagan goddess of the dawn, without losing any street cred.

    (by Dennis DiClaudio)

  • This new father with too much time on his hands decided to milk his son for all the Internet points he was worth.

    posted 04/21/2014

    Is he playing catch, or asking a giant baby to stop standing one-legged on that roof?
    (via reddit)

    His wife should have probably realized that when she married a guy with the reddit username of "cumtruck," something like this might happen if they reproduced. Mr. Truck claims that his wife specifically asked him to not "karma-whore" their baby on reddit for the upvotes (or karma) that are that site's currency. But not only did he post the picture above, he added several photoshopped versions for good measure, turning his son into a soccer-playing, waterskiing, super-powered Lord of the Dance:

  • 6 new contenders for the most outstanding comment ever left on a Facebook photo.

    posted 04/02/2014

    I'm guessing this is the last time anyone makes the mistake of trusting you. (via)

    At this point there isn't a moment of human experience that isn't photographed and instantly uploaded to Facebook for all to share. Life is contained in the Facebook photo albums now, so when you comment on a Facebook photo you're essentially commenting on life itself. You can choose to resignedly click "Like" on life like so many over-medicated cult members who are lying to themselves. Or you can do like the commenters gathered here, who deserve awards for their attention to detail and their willingness to turn a glimpse of another person's existence into something we can all laugh at.