- posted 1 hour ago
That about covers it. Maria Nuñez was at the restaurant Banger's during SXSW on Sunday when the Biebs dropped in for a set. She was...startled.
The face of Bieber proximity.
The only thing scarier would have been if she'd been present at his deposition.
(by Bob Powers)[ Via Mashable ]
- posted 2 hours ago
What Rustin Cohle's fate could have been if only...
Apparently, a lot of people were a bit less than thrilled with the somber, naturalistic finale to the first season of HBO's breakout hit True Detective. In an interview with HitFix's Alan Sepinwall, the show's creator Nic Pizzolatto hinted at several alternative endings that were ultimately scrapped. Granted, there's no way to be certain about this, but I'm certain that these are those alternative endings:
1. The Enemy Within Ending. Cohle follows a cloaked figure through the dilapidated ruins of the lost city of Carcosa, located deep within the swamps of Louisiana. After chasing the swaying yellow robe around turns and down darkened stairwells, he finally finds it trapped in a dead end corridor. Approaching cautiously, he reaches out a tenuous hand to pull away the cloak. Beneath the fabric, he finds a mirror. In it, he sees his own reflection. He drops to his knees and shouts out "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Slow dissolve to the swampy landscape. Credits.
2. The Set-Up Ending. Seeing Cohle and Hart approach his home, Errol Childress grabs his half-sister and pulls her kicking and screaming out to an airboat he keeps docked in the swamp behind their home. Hart catches sight of them just as the boat's massive propellor begins to spin. "So long, old chaps!" Childress yells out in his best James Mason voice. "That river leads directly to Mississippi," Cohle says. "Out of our jurisdiction." Marty stares at the vanishing craft and says, "Maybe there's two other detectives in Ol' Miss who can pick up where we left off." Fade to black. "True Detective: Season Two... Coming in 2015."
- posted 5 hours ago
You can already tell this is going to be good. (continued below)
Redditor xxsamb10xx's grandfather, Walter George Bruhl Jr., wasn't about to leave his obituary up to some relative who survived him. Before he died, he wrote it himself, leaving blank spaces for the date of his death and the length of time he was married to his wife.
Highlights include Walter's list of body parts that preceded him in death, including his tonsils and prostate, and his remorse that there would be no viewing, since his wife wouldn't let him appear "standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand."
Walter expresses his wish to be cremated and his ashes "kept in an urn until [his family gets] tired of having them around." But the best part is the ending, where Walter writes, "Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name." Thanks to xxsamb10xx, many on reddit are promising to do just that.[ Via redditor xxsamb10xx ]
- posted 7 hours ago
These drawings should be hanging on the walls of a terrible Hollywood steakhouse.
Fans have created god-awful, untalented-child-like portraits of their celebrity icons for as long as we've had celebrities, but thanks to the Internet, we can find treasure troves of them all over the Internet. As hilarious as it is to see how different these renditions are from their subjects, but until now we had not wondered how horrifying it would be if the drawings were accurate.
Thanks to Twitter funny-person JamieDMJ, we now know. Apparently, fans live in a parallel universe with much more meritocratic society where talented actors succeed despite their horrible disfigurements.
I've photoshopped what some celebrities would look like based on their worst fan art. pic.twitter.com/cYdczcLrDB— Jamie J (@JamieDMJ) March 10, 2014
I bet those fans think you did a terrible job capturing their work's likeness.
JamieDMJ is best known posting a fake rejection letter from Webuyanycar.com turning down his red and yellow Fischer Price Little Tike plastic foot-powered toy car, to which Webuyanycar.com responded by creating webuyanytoycar.com and donating the proceeds to charity.
Hopefully the trend continues. Start photoshopping, people.
(by Johnny McNulty)
- posted 7 hours ago
That be some long spelling. You said it.
It would have been a lot shorter had our nation's early morning cable anchors been in competition.
This was around 5 AM so staffers were only half-awake, and chyrons end up having typos just like anyplace else. But when your typo misspells "Spelling Bee," that's really unfortunate.
(by Bob Powers)[ Via h/t BuzzFeed ]
- posted 7 hours ago
Surprised he kept his shirt on before being put in.
Fernando Sosa enjoys making 3-D figurines of political figures to satirize them on his site, Political Sculptor. For example, he has a little model of Chris Christie wearing an orange reflective vest and directing traffic which got some press in the New York area. However, that can't hold a candle to the sh*tstorm his butt plug caused on reddit and the rest of the Internet. I'll let Sosa explain his thinking on this masterpiece:
This guy really puts a lot of effort into his models. He must be pretty anal about details. (via)
Yeah, I wanted to make sure to include that bit about the sandstone before you rushed out to immediately order this, because sandstone would probably feel as good as an actual Vladimir Putin in your butthole, and is only useful to demonstrate what's happening in Crimea right now. But if you pre-order now, Sosa will be able to afford sex toy-grade latex to make legit butt plugs for legit butt use.
This is why democracy will always win, people. Freedom.
(by Johnny McNulty)
- posted 10 hours ago
That's his "In ten seconds I made more money than your whole family" face.
Justin Bieber is being sued by a photographer who claims to have been threatened with a gun by one of Bieber's bodyguards, but that's not important right now. What's important are the below clips from Justin's four-plus hour deposition, handily broken down by TMZ into Arrogant Bieber, Lovesick Bieber, Contentious Bieber, and Disrespectful Bieber.[ Via TMZ ]
- posted 14 hours ago
Good behavior causes bad heartbreak. (Via)
Witnessing these nasty breakups in person would be incredibly uncomfortable. But when you can watch from a safe, projectile-free distance on Facebook, it's like seeing a building implode. A building with two very annoying people inside. On the other hand, maybe all of these couples could've stayed together longer if they communicated by any means other than social media.[ Via Lamebook, CollegeHumor, LOLSnaps, Reddit, 9GAG, Claire R., Lamebook, Reddit, Reddit, Lamebook, Lamebook, Lamebook, CollegeHumor, Unfriendable, Lamebook, Failbook, Lamebook, FB Humor, Lamebook ]
- posted yesterday
A clever forgery. Possibly the work of "The Mole" out of Reykjavik.
If you're not an experienced forensic document examiner, you probably don't posses the skills to see through this clever 5-year-old girl's near-flawless forgery of her mother's signature. You shouldn't feel bad though; it takes years and years of careful study to acquire an expert's eye. Let me walk you though this, though, so you can see where she tripped up.
First of all, notice that the "Y" is slanted to the left yet not dangling beneath the line. Most mommies will opt for one or the other. Also, see how the "O" isn't fully closed? Usually, a mommy will take more care when signing a school form. The big giveaway, though: Mommies tend not to think of "MOMMY" as their official name, regardless of what they're called around the house.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)[ Via redditor Lisa831 ]
One of the most exciting Oscar moments in history was nothing compared to what was going on behind the scenes.posted 03/08/2014
Comparatively speaking, Cuba Gooding Jr. was downright calm.
Since the the Oscars telecast has a reputation to uphold as the dullest and longest night on TV, it's hard to forget those rare moments of excitement and spontaneity, like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acceptance speech for Best Supporting actor in Jerry Maguire in 1997.
As exciting as that was, it was nothing compared to what was going on behind the scenes in the TV truck, where the show was being directed. The clip below, pulled from the documentary Inside The Oscars, proves that even at the slowest moments of the Oscars, there's probably a guy snapping his fingers and screaming like a madman to make sure you get to see the just right camera angle of George Foreman giving a standing O.
(by Bob Powers)[ Via H/T Reddit ]