If you're a magazine that puts a digitally aged Princess Diana holding an iPhone on your cover, or Michele Bachmann with full-on crazy eyes, when you have to sell an issue that's basically a glorified dining guide you're going to find a way to work a blow job into it. How long did they argue over whether to go full-throttle by deleting the second asparagus tip? We imagine they decided that might limit the readership to just those people who've been waiting for the Jolly Green Giant to release a sex tape.

Sources: BuzzFeed