Latest Posts
  • This little boy's fly dance moves leave girls in tears.

    posted yesterday

    Back off, ladies. This is a solo act.

    Dance movies have always been popular because they're able to teach us valuable lessons about race, class, and love in a language everyone understands. This instant classic called Little Girl Gets Jealous!!! is a perfect example of that. Fly boy following his dreams as dancer, falls for dancing girl, then girl in moon boots gets jealous, creates confllict, they fight, tears flow, and eventually the fly guy is back where he started, having learned the lesson we all must learn eventually. In the end, we're all alone, so avoid unnecessary drama and keep dancing till the music stops.

    (by Jonathan Corbett)

  • Roaming charges suck: Woman who only kinda likes Neil Diamond charged $4,363 for downloading his album.

    posted yesterday

    To be fair, Neil Diamond probably also thinks it's immoral to charge that much for his music.
    (via Irisgerh

    British person and cautionary tale Katie Bryan, a 43-year-old math teacher from Lighthorne, England, went to South Africa to visit her boyfriend's family. During a picnic filled with wine and music, someone played a Traveling Wilburys song. This, tragically, made Ms. Bryan want to listen to Neil Diamond (which I presume went like this: "Is Neil Diamond in that band?" "No, that's Neil Young." "Oh. I want to listen to Neil Diamond now").

    "I don't know why," she told the Telegraph, "he's more my boyfriend's musical taste and I'm more of a James Blunt fan." Despite her lackluster enthusiasm, Katie actually already owned an Essential Neil Diamond CD back in England. Wanting to add her own contribution to the picnic music, however, she decided to purchase another copy on her phone. It was a tragic mistake.

    Ms. Bryan's cell phone plan with Orange, a French telecom, allowed her 10MB of monthly foreign data downloading, after which she would be charged £8 a megabyte ($13.38 in US bucks). Her Neil Diamond album was 326MB. That is, to be clear, a £2608 ($4363) Neil Diamond album (normally $11.88) for someone who is more of a James Blunt person.

    Naturally, she called customer service. At first, Orange was pretty helpful, with the employee who answered her call agreeing to reduce her entire bill to £400 by selling her a backdated data plan that would have let her download more while abroad.

    Obviously, this person was yelled at by their boss for passing up such a tasty fee, because when she called back several more times, they told her that deal did not exist and was nowhere in her file, insisting she had to pay the entire amount. Clearly, that person got yelled at by their boss for putting the firm at risk of bad PR for the sake of a few thousand pounds sterling, because the executive office stepped in to re-offer the deal. She has since taken it.

    That isn't to say that Katie Bryan is unaware of being an idiot. She's also learned some valuable lessons.

    "You hear of people doing this and you think 'stupid person—why did you do that?' I do feel foollish. But I also feel it is morally wrong to be expected to pay this sort of money for a Neil Diamond album."

    At least she'll have some fun new word problems for her math class when she gets back to school.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • If Game of Thrones took place entirely on Facebook - Season 4, Episode 2.

    posted yesterday

  • Pharrell cries while watching people around the world dance to "Happy."

    posted yesterday

    The definition of "happy tears."

    Pharrell made a song called "Happy" that made a whole lot of people really happy and that made him so happy he's crying. Connectedness! Pop music is a flat circle. Oh wait, that's vinyl.

    In the below clip from an interview with the music mastermind, Oprah shows Pharrell a supercut of people around the world making their own videos to his song, and he gets verklempt in a way only Oprah can inspire. The only way it would have been more emotional is if he reached into his giant hat and pulled out an over-sized hanky.

    (by Bob Powers)

    [ Via LiveLeak ]
  • Man sprays Amsterdam street pissers with high-powered water cannon.

    posted yesterday

    Cleaning up the streets of Amersterdam one dude in a corner at a time.

    Amsterdam is one of the most permissive cities on the planet. Drugs are okay. Prostitution is allowed. Based on this video, it's even okay to strap a weapons grade water cannon to your back and become a one-man public urination vigilante. Plan your bachelor party now, urine haters.

    The Google translate interpretation of the YouTube description indicates this is part of a TV show in Amsterdam: "The fifth episode of Powlitie: Daan Nieber hunts urinating [sic] with water cannon." Good hunting, Daan. If you could tape this same segment in New York this summer, say around August, you'd be doing us all a great olfactory service.

    (by Bob Powers)

    [ Via H/T reddit ]
  • Minor league baseball team convinces new player their pitcher is deaf for a month.

    posted 04/14/2014

    Frenchy gets really inspired by Reyes at 0:35. Reveal comes at 5:45.

    If minor league baseball ever struck you as the sort of place where you'd find a bunch of fun-loving guys more obsessed with having a good time than making it to the big leagues, this video will confirm every brotastic fantasy you've ever had. (I'm sure they would strongly disagree with how I described them, but that's the image I have in my head and this affirms all of it.)

    The El Paso Chihuahas are the minor league arm of the San Diego Padres baseball franchise, and although they're named after a yippy dog that runs around real fast all day, they're suprisingly good at the slow, long, and very quiet con. When the Padres signed Jeff "Frenchy" Francoeur and sent him to the Chihuahas to, you know, get better at baseball, his new teammates had a surprise ready for him. They told him that their pitcher, Jorge Reyes, was actually totally deaf.

    Frenchy, being a good guy, thought this was inspirational and rolled with it. After all, this year's Super Bowl featured heavy coverage of Derrick Coleman, the NFL's first legally deaf player. That's not to say that it's not unusual, but it's in the zeitgeist right now.

    Normally, this would be a funny afternoon. The Chihuahas kept this going for a month. Apparently, this was helped by the fact that Frenchy isn't dumb, per se, but has what appears to be a case of ADHD so severe most people in his situation would have starved to death from forgetting to eat. There were plenty of moments when a more attentive teammate might have seen through the ruse, like when the catcher talked to Reyes from behind his glove. My favorite moments were hearing how Frenchy gave Reyes two huge thumbs-up and mouthing "great job" during a game, and how Reyes' girlfriend told him that they communicated via hand signals.

    Oh yeah, and the end of the video when they spring the trap on him. Totally worth it. Welcome to the big leagues of pranks, boys.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • Drunk dude's depressing attempt to climb a fence has a surprise happy ending.

    posted 04/14/2014

    This is life. Literally for some of us.

    I feel like the filmmaking team behind this Russian short film Тщетность бытия (The Futility of Existence) really missed an great opportunity by releasing it directly to YouTube instead of premiering it at the Cannes Film Festival. International cineastes would have flipped for this morose tale of a middle aged drunkard's continued efforts to scale a sickly green fence while a naked, dying tree watches impotently from the other side. Sure, the metaphor is a bit obvious, but it's clearly meant to strike the viewer on a gut level.

    Pay attention for the big twist ending! It'll have you on your feet and cheering!

    (by Dennis DiClaudio)

  • This baby can't help but wake up and dance when the beat drops in the backseat.

    posted 04/14/2014

    Does that car have bottle service? 

    Everybody has that one song that, when it hits a certain part, you can't help but stop whatever it is you're doing and bop to the beat. Even if you happen to be strapped into a car seat and sleeping at the time. That's definitely the case with this baby and whatever the hell mom is cranking on their way to pre-club.

    Seeing this, suddenly all those club kids with pacifiers in their mouths wearing baby clothes and drooling on themselves makes sense! Because the music they listen to is appropriate for ages 6 months to 21 years. EDM may seem like an odd music choice for a carload full of babies, but if you think about it, it's not any weirder than anything from The Wiggles or a purple dinosaur singing "I Love You."

    (by Jonathan Corbett)

    [ Via Youtube ]
  • These kids are really struggling to figure out what a Walkman is.

    posted 04/14/2014

    "Is it, like, a case for keeping all your iPads in?"

    Did you guys know that, once upon a time, iPods used to weight about seven pounds and could only carry one Lita Ford album at a time and that Lita Ford was a musician that anybody cared about? Strange as that may seem, it's true. These giant, cumbersome iPods were called Walkmen, and instead of uploading a bunch of pirated mp3s onto them, you opened them up and slipped a cassette—filled with about an album's worth of music that you had copied from your older sister—into its delicate workings. Then you depressed a Play button, and you had a music experience for only yourself and anyone within a ten-foot radius of your oversized earphones. This was the height of music technology in the 1980s.

    Don't fool yourself into thinking that today's tech gadgets won't look equally goofy and impractical in about thirty years. In fact, these same kids will one day be old, fat and balding people, trying to figure out if their new GoopTune cup of music slime is supposed to be injected into their heads through their ear or their nose. It's the cycle of life.

    (by Dennis DiClaudio)

  • A guy went on Wheel of Fortune and won the title of Worst Contestant Ever.

    posted 04/14/2014

    "Let's pretend this never happened, Pat."

    A lot of people have gone on Wheel of Fortune and screwed up under the big lights, so to walk away from the show with the title of the Worst Contestant Ever is a stunning achievement. That's what a guy named Julian managed to do recently, after he blew an opportunity to win a million dollars. With every letter flipped on a puzzle "MYTHOLOGICAL HERO ACHILLES," all he had to do was read it. He managed to pronounce the first two correctly, then offered up "a-chill-us" for the third. Possibly referring to the Greek god of stone-cold chilling. 

    The studio went completely silent, probably because the audience had never seen Pat Sajak so close to crying tears of shame for a contestant, as well as America's college system. The sad truth is that lots of college students might mispronounce "Achilles," but when you're competing on television representing a major university, you really need to stick that landing. The faculty at IU are probably busy this morning trying to solve the puzzle of how Julian got into their school.

    As bad as that was, Julian did have a couple opportunities to redeem himself. The first was when they were looking for a "person" and he was staring at the letters "THE WORLD'S FASTEST _A_" and asked for a "C." It's possible Julian has an incredibly fast friend named "Mac," but we'll never know. Amazingly, he had one more chance to save face at the end when the puzzle was "ON-THE-SPOT DECISION," but by that point he was probably preoccupied with thoughts about transferring schools and changing his name, because the guess he gave wasn't even English.

    The craziest thing about the whole episode is that Julian somehow managed to finish ahead of the only two people on earth who can say, "You know the worst Wheel of Fortune contestant ever? I lost to that guy!"

    (by Jonathan Corbett)

    [ Via The Daily Dot ]