Is your coworker out on vacation or bereavement leave? Then there’s no better way to prank them than to decorate their cubicle for when they come back! Here are some ideas.
1. Cover everything in the cubicle in bubble wrap. But make sure to pop all of the bubbles before your coworker gets there. They’ll spend all day squeezing, looking for that one bubble to pop, but they won’t find it. This will result in madness.
2. Wallpaper your coworker’s cubicle walls with photos you took of him or her from strategic surveillance points, capturing private moments when they had no idea they were being watched.
3. Hide a handgun that was used in a violent crime somewhere in the cubicle and tell your coworker the police are on their way. This’ll get their blood pumping before that first coffee.
4. Track down all your coworker’s third grade teachers and stuff them into the cubicle. When your coworker arrives, the third grade teachers will say, “So you never got any further than this in your life? Can’t say we’re surprised.”
5. Pay tens of thousands of dollars to have someone undergo cosmetic surgery to look exactly like your coworker, then have them sitting in the cube the morning your coworker returns. When your coworker arrives at their cubicle, the lookalike should turn around, make eye contact with your coworker, and just start screaming.
6. Lick every surface of their cubicle. Don’t tell them until the end of the day. Then, ask if they’re as turned on by it as you are.
7. Four words: Drawer full of bees.
8. Paint everything in the cubicle pitch black. When your coworker asks who painted everything black, pretend you don’t see it. “That must just be how you see the place where you have to sit eight hours a day for the next thirty years. You look at it and only see darkness. The rest of us look at our cubes and see opportunity!”
9. Replace everything in the cube with miniature replicas. Convince your coworker that they’re a giant.
10. Cover everything in the cubicle in gasoline. When you hear your coworker getting off the elevator and approaching the cubicle, light a fucking match.
(by Bob Powers)