...is your last chance to nail the punchline!

Jeffrey Rieck, 61, may have lived in Middletown, NY before passing away from cancer on Aug. 13, but news of his death was printed in two New Jersey newspapers. Jeffrey was a loving father, devoted ex-husband, usually-employed carpenter, the kind of guy who'd rather you donate money to charity than send flowers, and the guy who would rather "no one gawks at him while he is deceased." Most importantly, he was a guy who had to have the last word. That's why his obituary was printed in New Jersey in the Record/Herald News—because Jeffrey's local newspaper rejected his self-written obituary, presumably due to hilarity being illegal in upstate New York (and also that Middletown is only 20 miles from the NJ border).

Jerry's obituary took a few parting shots at friends and family, although it was filled with the kind of gentle ribbing that hopefully won't haunt anyone until the end of their days. From his sons "no sense of humor" and "free is for me," to his ex-wife whose house he passed away in (and won't have to take care of anymore) to his own carpenter's union, it seemed like it was a pretty high honor to get insulted by Jeffrey Rieck one last time this weekend. Read the full obituary below:

Man, when I go, you are all gonna love hearing my nicknames for you. Yes, you all have nicknames. Especially you, "I forgot my wallet." Especially you.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: Record/Herald News | NY Post