12-4 is a crazy long time span to be away from the basement.

I know there's nothing I hate more than having to take a break from my busy schedule of playing Call of Duty with my boys (my dirty, dirty boys) to open the door for the DirecTV guy. I mean, srsly? Of course, if it wasn't for my boy with a vague but menacing-enough background in martial arts, I'd probably have to physically stay upstairs and read a f***ing newspaper or some other boring nightmare.

It's all cool, though, DirecTV guy. As long as you don't trigger a Tony attack, come on in and do whatever the hell you like. If you hear any noise, it's just Dirty Mike and the boys.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: redditor ScaryStingRay