Pizza Hut issues coupon for losers.
It's important to note that this offer is "Carry Out Only." Pizza Hut doesn't want you bringing your miserable excuse for a life into their restaurant anymore. You make the servers uncomfortable with the way you seem to cherish every word of your exchange with them, as if they were the first people you'd spoken with in weeks. They end up having to huddle in the back of the kitchen and sob for you and your harrowing display of humanity, neglecting their other tables full of families and people on dates. On the plus side, that wings add-on is a pretty good deal. Eight wings equals eight more imaginary friends!
[ Via Reddit]