5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - June 18, 2014
1. Washington Redskins Learn That Racist Team Names Can't Be Trademarked
The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has decided to revoke the racist trademark for the Washington Redskins due to the fact that the football team’s racist brand is "disparaging to Native Americans." The team, however, remains free to keep their racist name and logo in the absence of a trademark. They'll just have to share it with the world.
I love when people defend the Washington Redskins name because it means they don't think about their opinions, so I don't have to either.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 16, 2014
2. Emma Stone And Andrew Garfield Trick Paparazzi Into Not Being A Complete Force For Evil
Adorable celebrity couple Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield have figured out a way to make people think they're even more adorable: They've started covering their faces with the web urls of charitable organizations when being photographed by paparazzi, thus forcing the misery-spreading photographers to choose between a 7,567,345th snapshot of the couple and promoting something non-soul-crushingly awful.
— IndyPeople (@TheIndyPeople) June 18, 2014
3. Kanye West Spent His Honeymoon Obsessing Over The Color Balance On His Wedding Photo Because He's Got His Priorities In Order
After Annie Leibovitz decided against photographing Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding last month—because, according to the groom, "she was, like, scared of the idea of celebrity"—West was forced to spend several days of his honeymoon color-correcting the wedding photos himself so that his new wife could have a perfect image to post on Instagram. “Because Annie pulled out, I was like, ‘Okay, I still want my wedding photos to look like Annie Leibovitz,’ and we sat there and worked on that photo for, like, four days because the flowers were off-color," West explained like a normal human.
I'd never trust Kanye to produce any record of mine--how good of a judge of sound could he be, if Kim Kardashian's voice doesn't bother him?
— Mojave Phone Booth (@MojaveFoneBooth) June 13, 2014
4. Donald Trump Classes Up The Chicago Skyline With Giant Tribute To Himself
Double-win for Donald Trump! First he got to piss off an entire major metropolitan city when he had his name erected onto the side of his new skyscraper in 20-foot letters in Chicago. And then he got to go on TV and complain about the people complaining about it. He must be feeling on top of the world this week.
Donald Trump in enraging Chicago insisting his name be put on his new 96-story tower in 20-foot-tall letters. It's like a toupe for his ego.
— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) June 13, 2014
5. California Politician Resigns Over Literal Poo Flinging
The mayor of San Marino, California has resigned from office after a security camera caught footage of him throwing a bag of dog poop into the driveway of a neighbor with whom he shared long-standing political disagreements. No word yet on which 2016 presidential campaign he'll be joining as senior strategist.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 18, 2014
(by Dennis DiClaudio)