1. The World Today Has 100 Percent Less Robin Williams, And It Is 1,000,000 Percent Worse For It

Terrible, terrible, terrible news. Here are other people trying to work their through this tragedy right along with you:


2. Your Dumb-Ass Theory About The End Of 'Game Of Thrones' Might Be The Correct Dumb-Ass One 

It turns out that your very silly theory about how George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy novel series will end might just be silly enough to be the right one. "So many readers were reading the books with so much attention that they were throwing up some theories," Martin told The Telegraph, "and while some of those theories were amusing bullshit and creative, some of the theories are right."


3. Legal Marijuana Ushers In Debaucherous New World Of Moderate Drug Use

Unfortunately for people who want to demonize marijuana, it would appear as though legalizing and restricting the drug in Colorado has not yet led to an End of Days scenario with the state's stoned teenagers taking to the street with pitchforks and murdering everyone in their path in their drug-addled haze. In fact, it hasn't even led to increased usage of pot among teenagers


4. Pussy Riot Cameo Will Be Least Silly Thing In Third Season Of 'House Of Cards'

Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina of Pussy Riot have agreed to appear on the next season of Netflix's hit show House of Cards. This is apparently part of their plan to learn how to integrate politics into cinema, so that they can bring that knowledge back to Russia. "It's not a question of what do they want, but what we want from them. And we want to learn how to do a political movie. This is our main agenda right now," Tolokonnikova told the Wall Street Journal.


5. Your Future Panda Triplet Overlords Were Born In China Last Week

Triplet pandas born in a Chinese zoo on July 29 are being referred to as a "new wonder of the world," due to the extreme rarity of such incidents in the species and how much people just goddamn love baby pandas.


(by Dennis DiClaudio)