What every mother wants to hear. (via)

Have you wished your mom a Happy Mother's Day yet? Well, you should, dammit, after all she's done for you. Just don't use any of these insane Mother's Day cards from kids as a template. That would probably freak her out. After all, she probably doesn't want to know what you actually think about her cooking, how old she is, or what you feel she owes you. And she certainly doesn't want to see your terrible drawing of her. You know what? Just send a Someecard.
 


Where do you think Emma learned those words, Mom? (via)



And then don't check my browser history, okay? (via)




What a lucky mom to have gotten stuck with that particular sperm! (via)



LOL but seriously, what's for dinner? (via)
 


Way to break down gender stereotypes/use the word "rampagingly!" (via)

 


Yep, that's pretty much how it went down. (via)

 


Happy Mother's Day to someone who could stand to be more organized. (via)



I love you even though you're old as sh*t. (via)