With no speed limit, the Autobahn's too fun to notice your wife is gone. (photo: V. Bezrukov)
It was a bright day for two German newlyweds in Berlin on Thursday, as the young couple (eh, mid-30s), set off in a minibus (or as we say in the US, "those awful airport shuttle vans") with their kids to go on their honeymoon. Like any good road trip, this one was filled with pit stops, so everyone could be in a good mood on the autobahn. The new groom, however, was in such a good mood that he left one of the gas stations without realizing his wife was not in the car, and then drove 125 miles away without her. That's further than the drive from New York to Philadelphia.
Naturally, one might ask whether this hints at some subconscious desire the man had to not get married. For his part, the husband claims he assumed his wife had crawled into the back of the minibus and fallen asleep while he was in the rest room. It wasn't until he wondered why his (presumably sleeping) wife wasn't keeping their noisy kids under control that he realized his mistake. Which also raises the question: were those kids just happy to get rid of Mom? Why didn't they say anything, since they clearly knew that no one else was in the back?
Finally, after realizing his mistake, he called the police, who informed him that they had already heard from his wife. Presumably, in the background of the police station, the husband could hear a bunch of officers make the German equivalent of the "OOOOOOoooooooooo someone's in the doghouse now" noise.
Despite all this, however, the wife was not upset when they were finally reunited 5 hours later. As she told a radio station, "I'm not angry with my husband. He didn't mean it." Sounds like there's one German dumbass man out there who's found a keeper.
(by Johnny McNulty)