Despite their slow land speeds, Sloths are excellent rocket pilots.

Updated 9/09/13:


If I could travel back in time, I'd stand behind Hitler in a cafe and tap my foot until he tipped.
 


Topical tipping? Typical.
 


Just slide that hot pizza grease all over my OW! OWOWOWO! OOOOUUUUCCCH HOT!
 


The ol' stick-it-to-the-man pitch. Real convincing, lemonade stand. "Boss"? More like "Dad."
 


Kitty's looking a little crosseyed to be holding such a sharp sword.
 

 
Just because he stopped wanting to go doesn't mean we can't still send him.

Updated 8/6/13: 


Sadly, Predator seems to have intercepted all the tips here.
 


Where is Sally Struthers when you most need her?
 


George Lucas must shop here, because no one else has a problem with Han shooting first.
 

Sources: Redditor bierrr | BuzzFeed | Smosh | World Wide Interweb | List25 | Huffington Post | College Humor | Funny Tip Jars | The Chive | List25 | redditor ILickTailors | redditor the_suit_salute | redditor saidthestarling | redditor wildfourth | redditor AKCheesehead | redditor kylzajew | redditor blindhelix | redditor peamealsandwich | redditor devin1990 | redditor fatwhitebarber | redditor sushijo