This is the most perfect one-line summary of working in the service industry, ever.

Tipping is very important to our society. Without it, we wouldn't be able to pay people inhumanly low wages—one of the founding principles of America. So, to keep everything running along correctly, we all give a certain amount of our inhumanly low wages to the people with really inhumane wages so that we can still get someone to make the overpriced coffee that keeps our eyelids from collapsing at our own jobs. Of course, if you're wealthy, these tips don't really mean much, which is why they tend to make servers work so much harder for it.

He looks a lot like Sad Keaunu. ...And Keanu plays Neo, aka The One... *mind explodes*

That's BULLCRAP, Vader! We know you're just saving up for Death Star Three.

Ah HA! I TOLD YOU! Caught red-handed, mister. Or, red-disfigured-robo-handed, anyway.


-10 points for grossness, but +5 for having customers willing to read all of that.


You know, sometimes a straight-up "fuck yeah, money!" tip jar is better than any pun.

Updated 11/08/13:

But, what if I were to offer you a major tip augmentation?

Broke, addicted to drugs and having unsafe well-endowed sex is no way to go through life.


If you've got the cash to worry about boats capsizing, you can afford to tip.


So THAT's where that went.


Sources: Redditor bierrr | BuzzFeed | Smosh | World Wide Interweb | List25 | Huffington Post | College Humor | Funny Tip Jars | The Chive | List25