Last call at Gary's Chicaros is always served at quarter-to-Balls. (via Yelp)

What happens when you go on local television to say "I really don't want gays around" at your restaurant? Your restaurant, Gary's Chicaros, magically turns into a gay bar called Chicaro Club Enid, and you turn into a drag queen icon, thanks to hundreds of tongue-in-cheek (among other things) Yelp reviews from people around the country. To be clear, the restaurant is Gary's Chicaros, which does not have a Yelp page (Enid, OK is a pretty small town), so one had to be invented, and that's how Chicaro Club Enid was born. Whenever anyone Googles him or his restaurant, however, now this is sure to be what they find:


Gary's Chicaros: America's gay wet fever dream.

Gary James, owner of Gary's Chicaros has "been in business 44 years," so "I think I can spot a freak or a f****t," as he told NBC's KFOR-TV. "Any man that would compromise his body would compromise anything." 


This is Gary talking during one of the rare moments when he's not in full drag. (via)

The interview went viral online, as did some of his comments from his Enid, Oklahoma city council run in 2009: "I have one rule that does away with 95 percent of the trash. If they are rude enough to wear a hat inside a building, I don't want them here. Most of those little f****ts have their hats on backwards. I don't like girlie men. I'm not fond of men with all kinds of metal in their face. My customers don't want them around, and I don't want them around. I don't consider that racist." So, to review, people who (wink, wink) "have their hats on backwards" (with a bonus extra f-word drop), "girlie men," and people with piercings. Topped off with a disclaimer that this is not racist, despite the fact that he was careful not to mention any races.

So, the idea of him running a flaming hot gay bar is pretty funny, and thanks to these wonderfully creative Yelp review writers, a fabulous place of the imagination that we can visit in our minds:


Yes, someone really moved that quickly, and now you can buy a shirt.
 


Gary has mechanical bulls and decidedly non-mechanical bears.
 


OOOOOOklahoma, where the wind makes a runway walk down the plain.
 


Being gay doesn't mean Gary's any more accepting.
 


Pretty technologically advanced for a joint in the middle of literally nowhere(via)
 


Jeez, Shake Shacks are everywhere these days.
 


Now you can say you read something today, because that was awesome (typos excluded).

It's being updated pretty often, so go see what new chapters have been written in the history of Gary's Chicaros.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: KFOR-TV | EnidNews.com | Chicaro Club Enid | Yelp