"But if you can't get around to the letter, just the billions of dollars will do." (via redditor kindofageek)

Writing letters to Santa is an important rite of passage, as is discovering Santa's not real, lashing out at your parents, and never being able to trust anyone ever again. While the content of the letters kids write is different, there are a few common features that pop up again and again: questions about how Santa does his job, lists of unrealistic expectations for gifts, and questions about poop. There are a lot of questions about poop in these letters for some reason. Hey, poop is weird. Kids have to ask someone.


Meanwhile, her dad wished for a Holiday Barbie. Go figure. (via redditor KATHERIAC)



Yep. So what do you want for Christmas, kid? (via redditor tmbcake13)



There are no second chances with Santa. (via redditor 4VaginasInMyMouth)



Cheaper than what most kids want! (via redditor thatsmybaby)



That postscript is totally pandering. (via redditor rubber_necker)



Like a cuddly stuffed animal or to eat? Nevermind, weird either way. (via imgur)



And also, treat yourself right next Easter. (Via)




Ugh, unoperational things are the worst. (via imgur)



"I have no problem asking you for gifts just because you're fake." (via imgur)



Santa rewards little boys who pick up dog poop. It's in the Bible. (via redditor friggle2k5)



She means "greedy." (via redditor Kasandraxxx63)



Sometimes tough love is the only way. (via redditor SliggitySly)



Santa has the money, but he doesn't like. (via redditor kimbrella)



He forgot to add "Dumbass" at the end. (Via)




Santa's poop is red and green and magically illuminated. (via redditor Trezi)


This may be by a grown-up comedian, but kids should try this if they're worried about accuracy. (via @bigzackpoitras)