Should we put our nation's retirees to work as the things we launch our fireworks off of? Some say it's disrespectful, while others say it's hilarious. These great Americans weathered the Great Depression, and they possess the kind of dignified stoicism necessary to stand in the middle of a yard and listen to their entire family laugh drunkenly while they're set on fire. Let the retirees in your life know how useful they still are by igniting recreational explosives off their heads. We owe them that much.

What they'd be doing with their time otherwise >>

[ Via The Daily What]