It's like this kid has never even heard of heartburn.

Oh, to be young again. Redditor elbostonian discovered this note written by his or her third grader at the beginning of the school year. I remember having goals like this. When my goals weren't as boring and doomed to failure as "sleep more" and "don't leave dirty dishes in the sink for longer than one day." When drinking one gallon of milk without going to the bathroom not only seemed like an attainable goal for a youthful bladder, but a worthwhile ambition. When "learning how to" was sufficient. Just how to. You know?

(by Shira Rachel Danan)

Sources: Redditor elbostonian