A Halloween instruction kit for unapologetic pervs.
We've all been there. You happen upon a jack-o'--lantern on Halloween, the kind with the traditional triangle eyes and big smile sporting a few boxy teeth or maybe some fangs, and you think, "How the hell am I supposed to masturbate to that?" Enter Pornkins, the Halloween kit full of stencils that guide you as you carve into a disturbingly graphic image of sexual activity into your pumpkin. No longer will you be forced to enlist the power of your imagination to try and get aroused by a hollow squash. Now if only someone could figure out how to make our Christmas tree more jackable.