During a rare moment of not saying something annoying. (via)

Just this past week Gwyneth Paltrow caught crap after she compared reading Internet comments about herself to surviving war. If that's the case, the vegan warrior just signed herself up for another tour of duty after writing on her blog that water has the ability to feel and promoting the work of a professor of scientific quackery, "Doctor" Masaru Emoto.

Let's face it, the universe is a complicated place, and we're surrounded by unsettled science. So let's try to go into this with an open mind. Here's what she wrote:

"I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter."

So far, so good. Nothing wrong with having a curious mind and an interest in science. She goes on:

"I have long had Dr. Emoto's coffee table book..."

Are you fucking kidding me? "I have long had..." Who talks like that? Not anyone with an interest in quieting Internet trolls, that's for sure. Anyway, from Goop:

"I have long had Dr. Emoto's coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it. Below, Dr. Sadeghi explores further."

(This is where she turned things over to the lead man heading up Goop's investigation into the effects of bullying on water, Dr Habib Sadeghi)

“Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto performed some of the most fascinating experiments on the effect that words have on energy in the 1990s. In his experiments, Emoto poured pure water into vials labelled with negative phrases like 'I hate you' or 'Fear'. After 24 hours, the water was frozen, and no longer crystallized under the microscope: It yielded grey, misshapen clumps instead of beautiful lace-like crystals.

“In contrast, Emoto placed labels that said things like 'I love you' or 'Peace' on vials of polluted water, and after 24 hours, they produced gleaming, perfectly hexagonal crystals.”

So... Gwyneth owns a coffee table book and believes that water not only has feelings, but can read English. Got it.

To give you an idea of how much I know about molecular science, you should know that I just Googled "molecular" to make sure I had the correct spelling. However, my extensive research at Happy Place has provided me with great insight into the science of Internet commenting. So, I can say with confidence that if Gwyneth really wants to make peace with trolls and haters, she should simply stop shooting and surrender to the idea that sometimes it's best to just lie low.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Sources: The Independent | The Daily News