Some guy got attacked by a scorpion while trying to buy bananas at Walmart.
A scorpion, very similar to the one that may or may
not be waiting to attack you when you least expect it.
Look, I don't mean to alarm you—and, you know, I probably shouldn't even bring this up—but I just wanted to let you know that there is a non-zero percent chance that the next time you reach into a big display of bananas at your local shopping center, you will be attacked by a scorpion.
Hey, hey, hey! Calm down. It's probably not going to happen to you. The odds are very, very low. But they are real. And we know this because it just happened to some guy in Pennsylvania who—much like you—assumed he would never find himself advanced upon by a venomous arachnid while attempting to buy fresh fruit.
"I yanked my arm out and flung it, and this scorpion flopped to the ground," the man who could just as easily have been you told KDKA. "I was standing there in disbelief looking and there was another shopper there and people started to converge, and sure enough it was a scorpion."
For the record, I have never found a single scorpion laying in wait inside a cheeseburger. I'm just saying.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)