We don't have a lot of reasons to spend time in Astoria. It's located in Queens, which is the one borough of New York that even our horniest writer won't visit in his endless hunt for emotionally vacant casual sex. We know that Astoria is big with Greek food and unimaginative street names (you live on the corner of 23rd Street and 23rd Avenue, just off 23rd Road? Cool, never visiting you ever). Now it seems people in Astoria are being penetrated with an invisible "devise" [sic] by an invisible man? As we said, we don't have a lot of reasons to spend time in Astoria... until now. Sorry, but that sounds hot.

Sources: Why Leave Astoria