A woman arrested in Florida has the most Florida name possible.
Crystal Metheney, doing a pretty good Nick Nolte. (via)
Seeing that she was born in 1977, you can't really blame the parents. Crystal meth may have existed, but it would be years before it became the infamous household name, rapidly poisoning the country, state by state, tooth by tooth.
And you can't blame a person for the name they were given. But - and this is a huge but - once you're an adult, and unless you happen to be a stripper at a biker bar, a drummer for a punk band, or a villain in a Batman movie, you should probably consider changing your name to anything other than Crystal Metheney. Hell, "Beth Salts" would be an improvement.
Especially if you plan on being involved in things like firing missiles into occupied vehicles.
Police are looking for her boyfriend, Harry Juan Dealer. (via)
In legal terms, "offense-missile" could mean a lot of things, from launching a bottle rocket to shooting a gun. And since this happened in Florida, we could be talking about anything from throwing a newborn off a roof to launching a flaming alligator out of a trash can. Considering what we know so far, finding out she merely fired a gun into a car full of people would be kind of a letdown.
(by Jonathan Corbett)