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Updated 9/1/11:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATE (6/27/11): 7 new ones in this week's batch of treasures from Craigslist's loneliest subsection, including dumpster divers, surprise bedmates, a wedding gone south, and a particularly ominous message for a feathered friend. As always, if you recognize yourself in any of these ads, change your appearance immediately.