Here's a special message for all those "Boomerang Kids" in yesterday's Times magazine photo-essay about college grads moving back in with their parents to deal with their crippling student loans: Y'all did it wrong! You should have followed English Lit grad Katerina Christodoulou's lead when she spent her $17,000 in student loans on some plastic surgery to get some sweet new thighs, hips, knees and ass cheeks (an ex-boyfriend bought her the boobs). Now thanks to her student-loan funded liposuction she's free to pursue her career as a model while other college grads are arguing with their parents about the appropriate curfew for a 26-year-old.
Christodoulou told the Leicester Mercury that instead of using the government-funded loan for her classes, "I was lucky enough to have a supportive family who helped pay for my books and social life. This allowed me to save my money." It is, after all, every parent's dream to one day pay for their children to attend a prestigious university while the bank pays to send them to get their butts lifted.
"I know some people might be surprised to hear that I spent my student loan on my body," she told the Mercury. "But it was worth it for how I feel now."
Those Boomerang Kids are probably quite surprised. In fact, they might be unable to read this without tearing apart the stuffed animals in their childhood bedrooms in frustration, but we haven't even gotten to the really mind-blowing part yet. This is Britain, after all, and British higher education rules apparently allow students to take twenty-five years to pay back a loan once they start earning more than $28,000 per year. If Christodoulou's modeling career doesn't work out and she is never able to pay off that loan, the taxpayers will.
Meanwhile, American college grads are trying to work at Arby's to start paying off their tens of thousands in debt the minute they move out of their dorms. Here's another explicit photograph of just how much the British government is willing to back the education of its citizens.
On second thought, college kids, don't spend your loan money on liposuction. Spend it on a ticket to the UK. They'll look after you there.
(by Bob Powers)