We can't believe those two people gave pity likes against their direct wishes!
Oh right. Every hour on the hour.
I'm either going to unsubscribe or unfriend you today. Not a joke.
She knows she can upload video of her crying too, right? Quit half-assing it!
Seek no more, young journeyman, for your bullshit has been found.
You're only done with the drama because you used it all up in this post.
You can cram a lifetime into a single month. And a lifetime of self-pity into a single status update.
There are sadness-concealing face creams you can use if you get sick of putting on smiles.
Your plan has backfired. What's wrong?
Or worse, did you post something self-involved and stupid where you can be publicly mocked?