Okay, but you really shouldn't have a Facebook account. (VIa)

We know it shouldn't be a shock that there are drama queens on Facebook, but these infuriating users are are becoming a scourge, making the world's most self-absorbed medium even less tolerable with every intentionally cryptic, overwrought status update. Everyone has at least ten friends like this who constantly court concern with updates about how "you" broke my heart and now "life just isn't worth living," and they know they can get a dozen comments from their gullible, similarly theatrical friends by typing nothing more than a simple "Ugh!" The crybabies included here are just a small sampling of a growing Facebook population that must be stopped! (Sorry if we got a little over-dramatic at the end there.)


May I pretty please take an infant to Dallas while there is Ebola? (Via)

.


Is posting vague attention-whoring statuses your best or worst, broda? (Via)

.


But you seem to be just getting started. (Via)

.


The southside is a land where long, dramatic statements mean absolutely nothing. (Via)

.


Speaking hypothetically, I'd keep it off my social network. (Via)

.

Updated 8/25/14:


Those are tears of joy...over how much attention I'm getting right now. (via)

.


Sounds excessive, but the only way to raise awareness is through firing squads. (Via)

.


If you want to start trouble but are in hurry, just call people who lost their baby whiners. (Via)

.


Some people can't get the hint when their friends don't want to see them in a wet t-shirt. (Via)

Sources: Failbook | Redditor pinkfloyd873 | Unfriendable | Angry Bitches | Unfriendable | Lamebook | Melissa W. | Redditor AcerRubrum | Krista M. | Belle L. | Rachael W. | Keri