"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about what a douche I am?"

Ever have one of those days where you just really need to hate someone, but there aren't any good targets around? Today is not one of those days. Meet Jerry. Jerry is a spoiled little punk who went to brunch last Sunday at Pranna (probably), which is a very obnoxious restaurant even by Manhattan brunch standards, with his drunk, rich friends. Jerry either had a wonderful brunch or a terrible brunch, because he emerged absolutely wasted, with a desire to scream about how rich his daddy is at anyone who dared look upon him.

Jerry's behavior is pretty much What Not To Do 101 if you are a child of successful people. Step 1 is never to assert that your dad owns...anything. Don't do that. What's wrong with you? BUT, if you're going to do that, don't be hyperbolic—because you'll look both obnoxious and like you're making things up. Your dad does not own half of f***ing Manhattan, Jerry. No one's dad owns half of Manhattan. The largest landowner in NYC is the Catholic Church, and you don't look like Cardinal Dolan's son to me. Not only that, but no one who has watched this video yet has figured out who you are—and if your dad was really a big deal, your name would be on the headline of this article. It's not, because you're a rich little liar.


It's ok, his dad owns, like, half of that sidewalk.

The second step of What Not To Do is not to get your friends so drunk that they physically cannot stand up unless there are servants around. I guess EMTs and ambulance drivers are a kind of servant, but in general you should never deprive your body of more functions than assistants can replace.


Even the comatose guy is giving him a look like "I don't think this is a good idea, Jerry."

Finally, there is no reason to look like this kid. This is not what a rich person looks like. This is what a rich kid looks like. There's a big difference.

I'm in a much better mood, now. Thanks, Jerry. (P.S. - That obnoxious rich girl who's covering her face is the only one with a clue in this video. Good job, obnoxious rich girl.)

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: Gothamist