"Like a roadmap?"

This is Janet Silverman.

Janet is one of five women in America who has never been sent a dick pick. To cure her extreme case of fomo, she sat down to film a video of herself looking at 89 pics o' dicks, all in succession. Breathe through your nose, Janet.

Fortunately, we don't have to see what she's seeing, but she does a damn good job of describing... 


"Big round lollipop dick."


"It's like, 'Bleogh.... I'm so tired.'" 


"Curve!"


"It's going all the way back to his body."


Kind of like a dementor.

Yikes!

Here's the whole video!

Men, please note her general lack of arousal. Something to think about when sending out your peen selfie: women are all about details. As Janet, former novice, now expert, notes, "Women are trying to put together the clues about you... the man behind the dick."

Although, in some cases it seemed like it could be about the man beside the dick, or in front. She saw a lot of strange dicks. 


"There's some butthole!"

(by Myka Fox)

Sources: h/t Hairpin