They always lose interest the minute you take off the zombie makeup.
I thought posting Happy Bday on his wall was enough. This is getting out of hand.
He's going to regret this when she starts hitting on his friends. (Via)
Dammit. Fell in love again. Stupid literacy!
Girls love a gentleman who respects their fragile insecurity.
Do you want a husband or a wifey? Make up your mind and stop playing with hearts!
Does that come before or after the cake?
You called him bro. He thought that meant you were dating. (Via)
This was the year he found out Santa's so not real. (Via)
If you kept the wishing on the stars and off Facebook, you'd have a way better shot. (Via)