.

Updated 6/13/13:


Did he ever think to say, "PLEASE hit me up, bitches?"

.


The ultimate pickup line is the one with an "insert your name here" space.

.


Wait, are there women who can orgasm without crying?

.


Every girl's just looking for a man who'll relocate at the first hint that she's available.

.


So would Tom Cruise be Jesus's father-in-law in this? That's a hell of a family tree.

.


If Facebook offered a "Translated to reflect your actual thoughts" button.

.

Updated 1/2/13:


And some penicillin.

.


Oh she's committed. Just boobs then?

.


Ladies, stay out of the Axe aisle at Walmart tonight.

.


Stop promoting your stupid camel farm and celebrate the fact that it's Wednesday!

Sources: Lamebook | Failbook | Reddit