Lonely, smelly man posts the least appealing dating ad of all time.
If you're already thinking about a drink at 7:15, you may be at this guy's level. (via reddit)
The London edition of the Metro newspaper (everyone's favorite free morning mass-transit newspaper/thing clogging up every major city's sewers) featured a doozy of a dating ad yesterday morning, which was brought to the Internet's attention by redditor Two_homeless_bums, whose username is still more appealing than this guy's pitch.
I don't know how exactly he intends to signal to the women on the 7:15 Jubilee that he's the fabled Blue-Eyed Guy With BO. Maybe he will wear a light-blue button down that really makes his eyes pop while holding a drink in one hand and holding his other arm up to expose his sweat-stained armpit? That's the standard "come-hither" stance in England, I believe.
That being said, he knows his audience. If I were an 18-40 year old woman with low self-esteem who needs a stiff one (no pun intended—oh, who am I kidding? Pun intended) on her morning commute, I'd be pretty friggin' lucky to find a guy who also had low enough self-esteem to date a morning drunk who's not independently wealthy enough to get morning drunk in a car.
I know he probably doesn't mean they should drink on the London Underground, but then again the English like their drinks warm and small, so I don't see any problem with smuggling one onboard.
(by Johnny McNulty)
Sources: redditor Two_homeless_bums