"My kids suck" is the first line of this hilariously poetic ad for a used trampoline.
Spoiled kids, mint trampoline.
I'm with dad - his kids do suck! If my dad bought me a trampoline when I was a kid, I would've worn it out and had the body of a Russian ballet dancer. At least for a month or so, which is still a lot longer than this guy's no-good kids used the one for sale in this Craigslist ad.
I'm tempted to buy this one and I live in an apartment. Although, $350 seems like a lot for a used trampoline, especially knowing that the sucky kids are over it because they're probably playing the new trampoline app on their smartphones. Also, when you know an item for sale is slowly driving the seller insane, it's a buyer's market.
"They begged. Pleaded. Told me how they'd use it EVERY day. How our house would become THE place to hang out. We had a hot tub. And a basketball court. And a fire pit. And a hammock. But if we had THIS, well, we'd be rock stars. Plus since I "messed up their lives" by moving them here in middle school, I owed them at least this much. God, dad."
He should replace it with an adults-only pool.
So, before you go out and buy a crappy, last minute gift for Father's Day, think of this poor guy. And consider buying your own dad this sweet, slightly-used trampoline.
(by Jonathan Corbett)