Updated 1/28/14:


This couple really knows how to cut to the chase. (Via)

 


Watch over a terrified young person 24/7 and you live rent free!

 



You had me at the nazi tattoo on your arm.
(Via)

 


Just a tip, 420 really helps ease people into the "walking around nude" thing.

 

Updated 10/3/13:


Amenities include use of the anti-bacterial footbath.

 



There was one misprint in the ad. Not sure how "no sex" got in there. Damn typos.

 



I just require the incomparable cooking and cleaning skills or a stripper or escort.

Sources: Torontoist | Blame It On The Voices | Lauren B. | Tiffany J. | Redditor WhoDah