Updated 2/27/14:


Sorry, but if you ingest dairy, no live-in threesome situation for you!

 


You get a nice room, and every once in a while you have to carry the pumpkin.

 


Why's "taking a shit" a part of it? Nudism and poop don't go hand-in-hand.

 



That's how you write a nudist ad. Touching makes sense. Doesn't say a word about poop.

 


Stay away. Based on 'House Of Cards,' government-workers are all murdering psychopaths.

 

Updated 1/28/14:


This couple really knows how to cut to the chase. (Via)

 


Watch over a terrified young person 24/7 and you live rent free!

 



You had me at the nazi tattoo on your arm.
(Via)

Sources: Torontoist | Blame It On The Voices | Lauren B. | Tiffany J. | Redditor WhoDah