All the amenities of home, except for all of them. Cigarette-smoking child not included.
Whenever the directions to someplace only include GPS coordinates, where you should be able to see the property, you know you're buying something exciting.
Yes, glamorous Seneca, CA awaits your ownership! It has a bar and liquor license, which apparently has only been used to keep one family full of nicotine-addicted children drunk for decades. Sure, that's complete speculation, but where better to do speculatin' than in a ghost town in California gold country? As the ad itself states, it is
Wow, a real mine built by real Chinese laborers? How exciting and reminiscent of our dark past of exploiting minorities! Normally, I'd continue to wax sarcastic about this, wallowing in the pleasure that is hearing myself type, but I think I'll let the ad speak for itself:
Well, that's reassuring. Now that I think about it, it would be kind of cool to own a ghost town.
But you said it was easy to find... well, actually, you said to get to the bottom of the gorge. Given the extreme drop-offs, it sounds like you could accomplish that very, very quickly.
Oh, so only the crappy buildings are for sale, and wandering over to the nice ones carries an unspecified, but "serious," punishment....
Great. Anything else vague and scary about this place?
What. The. Fuck? Is this the start of a Scooby Doo episode? What's Ishi? Oh, he's a Native American who was the last of his tribe and was referred to as the "last wild Indian" because he spent his life wandering the mountains trying to avoid our wonderful civilization until he threw in the towel in 1911. Way to top the depressing memory of the Chinese laborers, Seneca.
Either way, I still wish I had $225,000. That has nothing to do with this ad, however.
(by Johnny McNulty)