30 reasons you deserve to take that open seat.
It happens constantly: you're commuting along on a crowded bus or train, and a seat finally opens up, with no pregnant ladies in sight. Nobody moves, the moment hangs, and you've got a judgment to make. But here are 30 reasons why you definitely deserve to pop that squat:
1. You're riding a long ways.
2. You're only getting off in a few stops, so it'll open up again quickly.
3. You're demonstrating to your fellow passengers the value of assertiveness.
4. You're the only one selfless enough to surrender it for someone who really needs it.
5. You've got a heavy bag.
6. You've got a fairly light bag, but the longer you hold it the more it's gonna stress your shoulder, and you told yourself you'd ease up on that shoulder.
7. You stood with a bag the last time you rode, so sitting without one evens that out.
8. You have a suitcase, and yeah, a suitcase can stand up on its own, but like, you have a suitcase, come on.
9. You're generally a model citizen.
10. You've got bad circulation, probably.
11. You've had a real rough day.
12. You've had a real easygoing day, and why not keep that primo mojo flowing?
13. You can't read standing up, and reading is unquestionably a noble form of self-betterment, even if it's A Feast For Crows.
14. You need to be able to jot thoughts in your notebook about the other passengers.
15. You need a good angle if you hope to excel at Tiny Wings.
16. You're drunk.
17. You're hungover.
18. You're neither, but hey, why not play pretend?
19. Your equilibrium is off, so you would be a danger to your fellow passenger standing up.
20. You're a very worthy individual.
21. You'll flat-out enjoy it more than some burnt-out working stiff.
22. You're not going to give money to the pandhandler making his way down the car so the least you can do is not obstruct his progress.
23. You're old.
24. You need to take it easy now so you'll be spry when you're older, like one of those fun old people who dance at weddings.
25. You let yourself be convinced not to take a cab, so you're still in a mindset of luxury.
26. You really need a transit nap, and the world needs more dreamers.
27. You owe it to your soul to treat yourself with care and comfort.
28. Other passengers may judge you for sitting down, in which case you've confronted them with their own judgmental nature, as Socrates would have.
29. You are a modern day Christ figure and it is more humble to sit.
30. You're just cuter sitting down.
(Follow Dan Abromowitz on Twitter)